When Perimenopause Doesn't Feel Like You

There was a moment in my life when it honestly felt as if a little creature had crawled into my brain and taken over.

At first, I told myself, maybe this is just a phase… maybe I'm tired… maybe life is busy. But it didn't pass.

The Fog That Wouldn't Lift

The fog became thicker. My thoughts didn't feel like my own. I remember thinking of that scene in Men in Black where a tiny creature is inside the human body, operating the controls. That's exactly how it felt — like I was still there, but no longer fully in charge.

And that was the moment I stopped dismissing it.

Recognising Perimenopause

I began to notice physical changes too. Subtle at first, then undeniable. As I started seeking information and understanding what was happening in my body, I realised I was entering a new phase of life — perimenopause.

That strange in-between place. The limbo land. The time between who you were and who you are becoming.

I felt unlike myself. My usual energy and zest for life had faded. Everything felt unfamiliar, disconnected, flat. And yet, nothing was 'wrong' in the way we often expect illness to look wrong.

Finding Compassion Through the Change

So I did what I often encourage others to do — I became more compassionate with myself. I slowed down. I listened. I allowed my mind, body, and emotions to speak to one another instead of fighting the change.

Not instantly. Not magically. But gently, I began to move through this stage rather than resist it.

Supporting Others Through Perimenopause

This personal experience has deepened my empathy for clients who find themselves in a similar uncertain space. Many describe feeling confused by the changes, unsure of themselves, and wondering why they don't quite feel like the person they used to be.

If this sounds familiar, please know you are not alone, and you are not 'losing yourself.' For many women this can be a significant life transition — emotionally as well as physically — and it can help to have a space to talk, reflect, and make sense of what's happening.

If you are navigating perimenopause and finding that anxiety, brain fog, or emotional changes are affecting your sense of self, you are not alone.

I offer supportive counselling sessions where we can explore what you are experiencing, understand the changes happening in your body, and develop gentle tools to help you feel more grounded again.

About the Author:

Geneve Hendry is a holistic counsellor who supports women navigating perimenopause and menopause-related anxiety. She holds a BA in Psychological Counselling  and completed her Postgraduate studies in Education with distinction (cum laude). Her work combines counselling, nervous system education, grounding practices, and compassionate support. 

Professional memberships:

Federation of Holistic Therapists (FHT)
ACCPH

While I support women emotionally through the changes of perimenopause and menopause, I always encourage clients to seek advice from their GP or healthcare professional regarding physical symptoms or medical treatment.